


You smile, but you don't mean it

by Cap_Sweet_And_Salty_Sadness



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Superheroes should use their mouth and not their fists, Tony POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-09 01:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10400328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cap_Sweet_And_Salty_Sadness/pseuds/Cap_Sweet_And_Salty_Sadness
Summary: "I want to drink to forget I’m supposed to be mad at you, that we’re supposed to hate each other. I want to drink because we’re so bad with words it was easier to fight with our fists rather than talk our problems through."Tony doesn't know how to fix himself, but he will try if it means fixing Steve and him.





	1. What's your waffle recipe?

**Author's Note:**

> I had the briliant idea to write a post-cap 3 fix-it story for my comeback in this fandom, despite barely having any knowledge on the comics' events or the lore in general. I like challenging myself, alright? The whole story is already written and almost completely edited, so the updates should be regular. I don't believe there's a need for warnings, other than mention of an anxiety attack in a later chapter, but let me know if you think I should add any.

AC/DC was playing loudly in Tony’s workshop, loud enough that any sound from outside of the room was drowned. Tony wasn’t focused on it, more like a background noise in the back of his head. His attention was on the three different schematics he was working on at the same time. His fingers were hovering on holographic panels, twisting and rotating and pinching air, and the blue designs followed, moved with him.

He didn’t know how long he’d been doing this, didn’t know how long it took to complete the modifications on his latest suit before that, or Peter’s web shooters. He didn’t know when was the last time he ate either, now that a portion of his brain stopped working on the second schematic for a moment. He had a smoothie that morning, whenever ago _morning_ had been. It didn’t matter, he would finish these then head to the kitchen to get something… eventually.

On the desk beside him sat an outmoded cellphone. A flip phone. Tony tried not to think of it, everyday he was trying not to, but it was just there where he had left it, like a beacon of light that demanded attention in its archaism. Much like Steve Rogers had been on his mind without him meaning to.

He sighed. He couldn’t focus on the third schematic either. He saved and closed them. It was a waste of time to try and do any work now. He tried before, and that resulted in an explosion DUM-E was all too happy to extinguish before extinguishing Tony. The fact he’d been safe away from the fire didn’t seem to compute into the robot’s mind, as did most things. Tony shouldn’t be so fond of his creations and get rid of it, but then against many things seemed to crawl under his skin without him meaning to.

He went to take a sip from his coffee, only to realize it was empty. Judging by the dry bottom, it’d been empty for a few hours now, but he’d been too focused into his work to notice it. He got up and grumbled his way to the kitchen area of his workshop, then sighed when he remembered he had no more coffee machine down here. Steve had come in one day and decided that if Tony forgot to eat, he’d at least wouldn’t forget his need for coffee and would have to come upstairs to get some, in the communal kitchen. Tony hadn’t even noticed Steve walking beside him with the machine in his arms at the time. Now the memory left an ashy taste in his mouth, and he scratched his goatee in annoyance.

He stared down at the cellphone. It was the cause of all his distracted thoughts.

Cup in hand, he walked out of his workshop after he made a beeline for that stupid old thing. His need for coffee was stronger than his need not to face anyone at the moment, and perhaps he’d be lucky and no one was awake at this time.

No luck on his side. Natasha was seated on the counter, a steaming mug of probably herb tea cradled against her chest, jasmine or lavender when she wasn’t able to sleep. She was staring blankly at her tablet, not even looking up when he entered.

“Trouble getting your beauty sleep?”

She nodded in assent. “You?”

“Working on projects. I’m improving your suit, by the way. I want to make it everything-proof, you’re doing close combat and know how to disappear, but I’ve been testing some fabric I worked on for Bruce’s pants before. I think it could work, but I still haven’t found the best formula for the coating layer yet.”

Natasha let him rant as he poured coffee in his mug and joined her at the table.

“Any update on Bruce?” he ended up asking.

Natasha shook her head, her lips thin. He nudged her shoulder in sympathy. “My scans are still up and searching for him. We’ll find him.”

“When he’ll want to be found.”

“SHIELD found him before, and I have better equipment than them. I’m the human version of Professor Xavier. There’s nothing I can’t do, given time, except for a time machine. Well, perhaps I could build one if I really wanted to, but I let that stuff to Reed.”

“I spoke to Clint today,” she said after a brief silence, which happened when Tony was taking a sip of his coffee. He sputtered some out at her words.

“You what? How is he? Where are they? Are they alright?”

Natasha raised a hand to stop him in his rambling. “They’re all fine, Tony. Clint didn’t tell me where they are so I wouldn’t tell you… or go there myself.” She finished with a pout.

“What are they planning to do next? Stay hidden for the rest of their lives? Clint has a wife, for god’s sake. Does he think I’ll try to ambush him at his farm with his family?”

Tony didn’t realize he was clutching the flip phone in his hand until Natasha did. “Tony...”

Somehow she knew. Tony wasn’t even surprised. “You should give him a call, Tony,” she said, gently squeezing his hand for a second. “You want answers, don’t you?” She wasn’t just talking about their last fight. Tony wanted to make a joke about phone sex, anything to shoo away the idea before it settled in his mind. It was too late for that.

He put down the small black device, stared at it as he gulped the rest of his coffee. It wasn’t so hot anymore and didn’t burn the roof of his mouth as it usually did.

“You think that talking will actually solve our problems at this point? We fought almost to death, Tash. I thought…” He raised up wet eyes at Natasha, gulped down the knot of feelings in his throat. “I thought he was about to kill me.”

Natasha’s expression didn’t betray her emotions, only the lines between her eyebrows and her mouth had softened. She tilted her head, staring at him. “There’s no other way of knowing the truth but to ask him directly.”

“I’m not sure I’m ready to hear it. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready.” He pressed the palm of his hands against his burning eyes, pressed until he was seeing lights in the darkness of his eyelids.

“I can’t make the decision for you.”

He inhaled, cleared his throat. He didn’t like talking about his feelings, but Natasha and him had a special relationship. After the precarious start where she infiltrated his company as an assistant, they had become close; close enough friends that she’d chosen to remain on his side when the Avengers was broken up, signing the Accords along with him.

“I know. Thank you.”

She leaned into him in a loose embrace, and he slid an arm around her to pull her closer.

She left after a while, claiming she’d try to get some sleep. As for Tony, he poured himself another cup and picked up Natasha’s discarded tablet to browse the news. Nothing interesting, or nothing that picked Tony’s interest. His mind’s only focus was on that damn cellphone.

It made him angry. The fact that Steve hadn’t even tried to reason with him before he attacked infuriated him. He knew it was a juvenile reaction, that he was the first who attacked Bucky and him, but he wished Steve had somehow stopped him before the situation turned into this. He usually didn’t dwell in self-pity, nothing good occurred from him moping, but he had followed them in Siberia as a friend, because he wanted to help, only to discover Steve had lied to him for so long.

There was only one number saved in the contacts. _SR_.

Tony had pressed to call and brought the phone to his ear before he realized what he was doing. He jerked it away and almost closed the call when he stopped hearing the dial tone.

“Hi.” Steve had answered. His voice was groggy, laced with sleep, and he’d answered. Tony yearned. He yearned to be in his presence, to see his sleep-mussed face. It was an adorable sight which Tony didn’t know he missed until now.

“Did I wake you up? What time is it?” Was the first thing that came to mind.

There was a pause on the other side, then a huff. Of fond annoyance or irritation, Tony didn’t know. “Don’t worry about that. My sleep pattern has gotten ridiculous anyway.”

“Insomnia?”

“Yeah. You too?”

“No rest for the wicked.”

Steve hummed, but didn’t reply. Tony was used to small talk, he was good at socializing and talking to say nothing, but here, hearing Steve’s soft breaths in his ear, he was speechless. There were so many things he wanted to tell him that he didn’t know which one to say first, and it felt like his guts were violently twisted.

“Tony…” Steve started, but Tony interrupted him.

“What’s your waffle recipe?” he blurted out, startled that he’d came out with that excuse. “Vision has tried a few versions but they don’t taste the same as yours. They get too mushy or too fluffy and I don’t like eating what feels like clouds in my mouth.”

“You called me to know my waffle recipe?”

“Totally. My stomach deserves the best.” Tony wanted to hit himself on the head. Why didn’t he admit his crush on the man, while he was at it?

“So you’ve mentioned numerous times before, yet you continue to drink your coffee black.”

“Excuse me? You think it’s better drowned in so much sugar it becomes syrup? How dare you?”

He heard a huff of laughter, which made him perk up. He had missed this, their banter and the easy flow of their conversation. Steve was full of sass when he wanted to be, which had become a regular occurrence soon after he came to live in the Avengers Tower.

“Okay, for the recipe, first you need to put a teaspoon of apple vinegar cider in one cup of any kind of milk…”

-

Tony didn’t go to bed until well in the morning. When he woke up, he tried making the waffles. Preparing the batter was easy enough, but then he lost half of it because it stayed stuck to the maker even if he made sure to follow the instructions. He managed to better cook the next one, but all the remaining, burnt stuff stuck to it, so that one was lost as well. He scraped everything off, burning himself a few times in the process, but the last one was perfectly done.

The smoke detector started at that point. He hadn’t realized how much smoke there was until he looked up, then hurried with a rag. Who thought making the ceiling so high had been a good idea? He could access the detector if he had a ladder or a tall chair, but the only high chairs had rotating seats, and he wasn’t breaking his neck for that.

Vision phased through the ceiling, twisted the small device from its socket and crushed it. “This sound isn’t the best to wake up to.”

“You sleep?”

“Manner of speaking. I idle.”

Tony raised his eyebrows. “Sorry for disturbing your idling. I made waffles. Well, one waffle.”

Vision claimed ground. “I cannot remember the last time you cooked something that didn’t involve calling takeout delivery.”

Tony shrugged, didn’t answer that it mostly stopped because Steve’s cooking was much better and he’d told Tony he’d make him every meal if it meant he was eating everyday. Now it was only takeout.

He put maple syrup on the waffle and took a bite. It wasn’t bad, but it still didn’t taste the same.

-

He told himself he wouldn’t call Steve again unless in case of emergency. He told himself the same thing for weeks, but some days were harder than others. One night he found himself sitting at the bar in his penthouse and staring at a bottle of scotch, pondering. What would one glass matter anyway? Just a finger or two, then he’d put the bottle away and the craving would stop. Only it wouldn’t, he reckoned. He knew this pattern, the moment before he dived in. It would syphon his willpower and he’d found himself vomiting in a bin in the hours before morning.

That was why he was now staring at a bottle of scotch. A fine one, at that. He wasn’t lying when he told Steve his stomach deserved only the best. He also remembered the times he got hammered so hard he fell into an alcoholic coma and woke up in his own puke. He usually hid himself when he knew he was about to get drunk, so no one would judge him, but there had been this one time… JARVIS thought Tony was about to die, so he called Steve as an emergency protocol.

Instead of waking up in a less than comfortable way, he awoke puke-free and mostly headache-free. The reason of that had been sleeping beside him in his bed, on top of the covers. Tony was surprised to feel disappointment at that knowledge. Steve had awoken soon after, smiled softly at him even though he probably had to clean after him last night, and asked him if he wanted coffee. Really, what more could he asked for?

His fingers were creating patterns on the granite, equations. He shifted on his seat, frowning at the memories.

Calling Steve this time wasn’t as difficult. He dialed, and hop it was going.

He didn’t even let Steve talk. “I’m thinking about getting drunk again,” he blurted, gritting his teeth because he knew how Steve would be disappointed in him.

After that time waking up with Steve, Tony had sworn he wouldn’t touch alcohol again, first to Steve, then to himself. It hadn’t been easy, but he was used to the taste of alcohol-free drinks now, and he could fake it with apple juice during events.

Steve didn’t seem disappointed. “You’re calling me instead of drinking, that’s good.”

“No, it’s not. I want to drink to forget I’m supposed to be mad at you, that we’re supposed to hate each other. I want to drink because we’re so bad with words it was easier to fight with our fists rather than talk our problems through.” He bit his lip, regretted he even said that.

“I’m the one who should’ve talked to you, Tony. It’s not your fault it happened.”

“I’m not sure I would’ve listened, to be honest. You know me. And perhaps you would’ve talked to me, but I would’ve been angry either way.” He sighed, patted his chest where his arc reactor used to be. The skin was still too soft there, hairless, and he doubted it would even grow back. “I want to apologize to Bucky too. He was mind-controlled, I knew this when I attacked you, but I couldn’t stop.”

“It’s okay. He’s uh, he’s back in cryo for the moment, while we try to find a way to remove what causes the mind control.”

“Oh.” He could look into this. He had access to the files, or rather, FRIDAY could easily hack into the Winter Soldier’s files. “We’ve only been talking about me. Maybe talking about you will change my need to drink my ass off. How are you?”

“Good, considering the circumstances. My best friend could become killed with only a few words, and I had a fight with my other best friend and I now miss him so much… Tony-“ There was a hitch in his breath, then Steve drew the phone away from him. Tony tried to listen, but Steve muffled the microphone. It took a moment before he continued, voice even. “Tony, you have to know. That day when we fought, I just wanted to stop you. I didn’t want to fight you, but you wouldn’t stop. You even ripped Bucky’s metal arm off—“

“And I’m building him a new one. And I know. You don’t need to tell me, I know. That was my fault.”

“It wasn’t. Tony, it was mine. I was selfish, I wanted to do this all by myself and— what is it?”

Someone had interrupted him. How rude when Tony was so eager to hear the rest. Whatever was being said on the other side was muffled, maybe Steve even had the cellphone pressed against his chest to cover the microphone, pressed against his muscular pectorals... He shook his head, feeling stupid for even thinking that. He was supposed to be a whore who could sleep with whoever he wanted… Perhaps that was the thing… He didn’t want to just sleep with Steve.

“I have to go,” said Steve with his serious voice that meant business.

“Alright.” Tony tried to hide his curiosity, knowing Steve wouldn’t tell him anything on the matter.

“Call me later, okay?” Steve added, softly.

That perked him up. “What if I wanted to see you instead? To talk face to face, not to fight again. I’m done with that.”

“It’s not that easy, Tony, but I wish. I wish we could… I’m sorry, I really have to go.”

Tony put down the phone a bit more harshly than intended, groaning. He had been about to beg a man who was the cause of the Avengers’ destruction. Well, partly at fault.

The bottle of scotch was still staring at him. He took it, opened the cap, and poured its content down the sink.

-

He moped around for days after that conversation. Steve was right, he couldn’t be seen around New York, it was too dangerous. Tony had changed the Accords, demanding that all charges be dropped off the Avengers members who hadn’t signed, but papers and reality weren’t the same. If anyone from the Cap’s team were to manifest themselves, they would be arrested without question and returned to their cell. Tony had worked too hard to make their escape as smooth as possible.

Hell, a bit more and he was just unlocking the cells for Steve. It was the least he could do for getting them arrested in the first place, especially when he discovered the poor treatment Wanda had received. Clint had a family, he didn’t want another child to grow up without a father.

He still had to be present at SI press conferences and meetings. His image was important to keep and all that crap, after all. Pepper was doing an amazing job, but she reminded him too many times he had to do more than continue inventing for the company. It was all too easy to let her do everything, but he was a good actor, had been trained when he still had a diaper on. He would smile at the cameras, drink alcohol-free wine and flirt with everybody. The fact he wouldn’t leave with anyone was forgotten in the hypes of his return to the public eye.

At least he still had Natasha to train with. They fought on the ring, and she beat his ass more times than he could count. She wouldn’t go easy on him, and despite the bruises and the aches, Tony was grateful. His last real fight had been months ago, and he rather not remembered with who.

“Is this all you’ve got?” Tony taunted, a grin on through the sweat and his aching body.

Natasha didn’t catch on the bait, her posture controlled while Tony’s lacked her finesse. He dodged her next kick, counter-attacking with a punch to her middle that she easily blocked. Tony felt bad for hitting her, but she was a super-assassin and could kill people with her thighs, so. He had the right to fear for his own well-being instead.

“I talked to Steve,” he finally told her once they were both sprawled on the floor, taking a breath. Nat made a _finally!_ grunt, but didn’t move.

“I called twice, and he answered both times. We spoke. The amazing thing is we didn’t even scream at each other, I can’t remember a time where we were face to face and maintained a normal intensity in decibels. It’s easier to talk to him when I don’t see his face, when there’s only his voice and not his body language to take in as well.” He sighed, scrubbed the quickly-drying sweat on his face. “I miss our team, I miss all the Avengers…” He drew a breath, Natasha still silent beside him. “I miss him.”

A small hand took his. It would’ve been nice if that hand hadn’t punched him several times just a few minutes ago.

“You have a plan,” she stated, and Tony grunted.

“No, that’s the thing. I always have plans. And those plans usually have backup plans. But now… I don’t have one. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m just following the flow without really doing anything about it, you know?”

“You will find something. You always do.” Her confidence in him was comforting.

“I should record this, for future reference.”

They stayed like that until Vision phased through the floor to announce them he made dinner, startling them both.

He had to find a plan. There was something in what Steve had said, that he couldn’t be seen in New York… Tony had the breakthrough while he was brushing his teeth that night, and he quickly ran to the tablet on his bedside to write it down.

Steve couldn’t be seen, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t come here. He just had to be disguised as someone people were accustomed to see hanging around the Tower. Tony had a project he never got to finish when he was working on Rhodey’s suit, War Machine.

“FRIDAY, bring up the schematic for Iron Patriot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve's favorite [waffle recipe](http://minimalistbaker.com/7-ingredient-vegan-gluten-free-waffles/). It's also mine, just so you know. 
> 
> Steve uses the Iron Patriot suit in the animated movie Iron Man and Captain America: Heroes United. Iron Patriot is also a mix of Iron Man’s name and Captain America’s patriotism, so from there comes my inspiration.


	2. The costume doesn’t make the superhero

Tony somehow managed to sleep before starting the project the next day. The combat suit was going to be similar to Iron Man’s, but his priority wasn’t combat as much as comfort and making sure the measurements were right. He’d built a few versions of Steve’s uniform, that part wasn’t difficult. In fact, once he tasked FRIDAY to assemble the pieces, much of the work was done.

Well, not all of it. He first had to find a way to send it to Steve and two, to convince him to actually use it. A suitcase, perhaps? He could make it as a gift box. Nah, it’d be too much, even for Tony.

Instead of coming up with ideas, he found himself writing down a list during another sleepless night. The Black Sabbath music was barely making him feel better, this was horrible. The list was all the fuck ups with Steve. It was basically all over the place, but Tony felt better as the words poured out of him.

Pepper must’ve used her code to override the locked door, because a wild pile of papers suddenly appeared beside him while he was editing point twenty-four.

“Your signature is required on all of these.”

“Charming. I should get that finished by the end of next year.”

“Tony.” How much one word muttered by Pepper could contain so many emotions was beyond him. “How are you doing? And could you stop that for two seconds?”

“I can’t, I’ll lose my idea if I do. Oh see, I’ve just lost it.” He dropped his tablet, turned his eyes to Pepper. She looked as radiant and beautiful as always, even with that look of annoyance and worry painted on her face. “I’m making a list.”

She frowned. “Of what?”

“Everything Steve and I need to discuss. So we can start anew. Or just so he stops looking at me with disappointment, as Howard’s son and not as Tony.”

“Oh Tony…” She soothingly slid a hand down his back. Tony leaned into her as she peered down at the list. “No wonder you won’t be available until next year at this point. And he already sees you as Tony. I’m sure he didn’t know your father as he knows you right now.”

“Well, dear dad seemed pretty fond of the guy, if talking non-stop of Captain America was any indication.”

“He took pride in his creation rather than the man himself, you know that. You told me already.” She sighed, leaned against his work table to take a better look at him. He felt dirty and worn out compared to her pristine appearance, ginger hair perfectly in place and her outfit wrinkle-free. “I’m glad Steve and you are talking again. Has he managed to make you realize none of what happened was your fault?”

Tony huffed. “He said it a few times for sure, don’t worry, but even geniuses have social issues and need more time to deal with their feelings.”

She gently carded her fingers in his hair. “Don’t I know it.”

-

Tony went to see Rhodey. He was still doing physical therapy for his legs but was improving every day with the help of the prosthetics Tony had made for him. He visited at least once a week, sometimes going to his appointments with him, but he didn’t really need help anymore. Tony had no more excuse to stay with him that often, even if it didn’t seem to bother Rhodey.

The first thing he told him after he greeted him was, “You’re smiling,” to which Tony feigned to be hurt.

“I’m coming to see the love of my life, of course I’m smiling.”

“You know what I mean, Tony. You smile, but you don’t always mean it. You seem less about to curl in a ball and stare at the wall to brood like you used to. Come on, there’s a problem with my computer I’d like you to fix, I know how much you like that.”

Tony followed Rhodey inside his apartment. “You know the words to comfort me.”

“I also have pizza.”

Tony made a small noise, touched his chest. “And here I thought I couldn’t fall more in love with you. Where’s that troubled computer?”

“On the coffee table. I’ll bring the food.”

Tony sat down like he was at home and opened the laptop Rhodey had been using for at least the last five years. It wasn’t SI technology despite Tony almost begging him to get rid of that old thing, but Rhodey didn’t like throwing things when they were still usable. Tony should just put more viruses and malwares in there to accelerate the process, at this point.

“You’re adapting well to the prosthetics,” he remarked, typing away something in the console commands.

“Have to. Sometimes I’ll forget I even have those things, but then I bump into something and I remember legs aren’t made of metal.”

Tony was quick to pinpoint, “Usually.”

“Usually.”

“I’m glad then. Now you only need a metal eye patch and you could go to steampunk conventions as a pirate. Hey, how would you feel if I used your old title again, Iron Patriot? It’s not anything serious. Just, you know, for a personal project.”

“I thought you hated the name, but okay. What kind of personal project?” Rhodey set the pizza box on the table and sat down.

“Pepper hasn’t told you? I thought she told you.”

“Told me what? Did you make something explode again?”

Tony stopped from reaching for pizza to make big eyes at his friend. “Hey, I haven’t made anything explode in at least a week, alright? How dare you make such accusations?”

“Try that with someone gullible.”

“Fine. Anyway, Steve sent me a phone just in case and I used it to talk to him. Twice.”

“Seriously? Man. It was about time.” Rhodey gave him a one arm hug, which Tony returned with his mouth full of pizza. “So you want to hide Steve in an Iron Patriot armour?”

“Not only Steve, but pretty much, yeah, I’d start with him.”

“And when he comes over, you’ll finally confess to him?”

Tony bit his lip, an embarrassed feeling taking over. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Aww come on man, don’t be like that. Ever since you met him, you broke up with Pepper and didn’t get on with anyone else. I’ve seen the way you looked at him, hell, everybody did. You used to fight like an old couple.”

“We were fighting about the future of the Avengers, and you thought we looked like an old couple? I declare Steve is the mom, thank you very much.” Tony huffed. He was watching the progress of his anti-virus program on the computer while eating, not showing how Rhodey’s words affected him.

“A couple fighting about their kids, pretty much. That means that I also saw how Steve looks at you, man.”

That brought Tony’s attention. “How does he look at me?”

Rhodey shrugged, bit into his slice. “With feelings.”

-

Tony returned to the Tower with their conversation in mind. Steve liked him too? Of course he knew Steve cared about him, like he cared about any other member of the Avengers… No, it was more than that. He doubted Steve spent so much time with the other Avengers if he usually spent it with him in his workshop, studying about this new world he woke up in or just drawing quietly. Sometimes they’d talk, Tony rambling about whatever invention he was working on, but Tony preferred the quiet moments, where it was just shared looks and gentle smiles.

So perhaps he already knew of Steve’s feelings, but chose to ignore them. How could Steve even like him, anyway? He was arrogant, too smart for his own good, talked too much except when it mattered, didn’t know how to take care of others – let alone himself, and he certainly wasn’t the young Casanova he used to be, whereas Steve was… he was the perfect American dream. Perfect body with a perfect sense of justice and sassiness, and a smile that always warmed up his frail heart. Tony missed his witty remarks just thinking about him.

He locked himself in his workshop and continued to work on the Iron Patriot suit. It didn’t require much modifications from his other suits, and he was putting the last changes for FRIDAY when a ringtone startled him. He asked FRIDAY to lower the music’s volume and picked up his Starkphone before he realized it wasn’t the one ringing. It was the flip phone he’d pushed to the side of his desk without a thought. Steve was calling him.

“Is everything alright?” He asked right away, his voice cracking at the end with worry.

“Everything’s fine, Tony,” Steve said with fondness, a smile in his voice. Tony grew hot. “I just wanted to talk, and apologize for how abruptly our last conversation ended.”

“I hope nobody was hurt.”

“Just those who deserved to be.”

“So you’re still fighting about something. Or someone?”

Steve sighed, knew he’d fallen into a trap. “Even if I’m not Captain America anymore, I don’t think I can escape war.”

“Nonsense. You’ll always be Captain America. The costume doesn’t make the superhero, it’s the other way around.” Not all heroes wore capes and all that, but then again, most of the Avengers didn’t have one to begin with, except for Vision and Thor.

“…Thank you, Tony.” Steve replied. “So, um…Can I ask how you are?”

“Things are… Well, I’d be lying if I said things are the same as before. Vision and Natasha are living with me at the Tower. The Avengers facility isn’t used anymore for the moment, but I think you already knew that.”

“And Stark Industries?”

“Running smoothly as always by Pepper. She’s a real goddess, I should probably check her genealogy if perhaps she has an Asgardian ancestor, or maybe I should ask Thor. I don’t know what I would do without her, even if she’s forcing me to a lot of events and galas to keep up appearances.”

“I thought you liked those.”

“I grew to like some of those, true, but there’s too many two-faced people at these, and there’s only so much small talk I can endure. Some of them can be interesting though, I have to admit.”

Steve was walking, there was a bit of wind picked up by the phone. Tony wondered where he was heading. “Yeah?” He inquired with interest. Steve had only been the only one interested in his SI work enough to carry a conversation about it.

“A few, yeah. There’s a benefit in two days for the Best Friends, an organization that rescue animals. That’s always nicer than going to the 80th anniversary of some ominous CEO I never knew the existence of, and it’s for a good cause.”

“I didn’t know you cared so much for the animals.” Steve’s remark seemed distracted, as if he was doing something else while talking to Tony. Perhaps he wasn’t as interested as he thought he was.

Tony fidgeted with the tools on his table, placing them in size order. He wasn’t about to confess he accepted to go because he knew it was a benefit Steve would’ve liked. “I have the money,” he said instead, “why not spend it wisely every once in a while? Anyway, how are things on your side?”

“Good, better anyway. Some times are better than others, but it’s good. You would like it here, actually I wanted to— “

“Boss, sorry for interrupting, but there’s an update on the Bruce Finder. He’s been localised.”

His location was already displayed on one of his holographic screens. “I gotta go, Cap— Steve. We’ll continue this later, okay?”

“Be safe, Tony, and good luck getting him back.”

“Thank you.” He closed the call. “FRIDAY, where’s Natasha?”

“Heading here, boss.”

A minute later and Natasha was strolling in, her face determined. “Where is he?”

He gestured at the screen. “India.”

She scoffed. “I should’ve known.”

“Do you require assistance, Miss Romanov?” Vision inquired, using the door this time to make his entrance. She shook her head.

“No, I’ll do this on my own. Can I borrow a private jet?”

“It’s already waiting for you, and I put in Bruce’s coordinates. Now that we have him, he shouldn’t be too difficult to track.”

She gratefully squeezed his shoulder, and he placed his hand on top of hers. “Thank you,” she said, “to the both of you.”

“Go get him. If you need help, don’t hesitate. It’s been a while since I flew, my wings are getting itchy.”

She smiled and quickly left.

“I think your words are ‘Another waiting game’,” Vision remarked. DUM-E piped up as he handed Tony a very green-looking smoothie.

“Yup. I’m getting good at that.”

Natasha sent him a message before she landed, then she went silent. Tony forced himself to not worry and not feel sorry for himself, but he was alone with a bunch of robots, and even DUM-E’s clumsy behaviour wouldn’t manage to lift his spirit.

Pepper reminded him of a fitting appointment for the benefit the next day, and seeing her made him forgot about his worries for a little while. He asked her for dinner afterwards, to which she agreed, and he was thrown back to a much simpler time, where they were still dating and the Avengers were whole. She seemed to think the same thing, by the looks she kept sending him. She didn’t say anything but endured him talking about his new creations a little bit longer than usual before they came back on SI-related stuff. He returned home and found Vision engrossed in Black Mirror, so of course Tony had to watch it with him. It was quiet, and Tony tried not to think too hard in the silence.

-

The charity wasn’t as much fun as he was expecting so far. The cocktails looked nice before he threw the content of the glass into a nearby flower pot to replace it with apple juice or water. The finger food lacked in plant-based options, but he knew better and had eaten before the event.

The people were nice to talk to, however. It wasn’t the usual greedy rich assholes that he’d meet at these events, some were actually interesting to talk with. Most of the rich people were selfish and knew nothing but talk about themselves, but Tony had the chance to speak with a few of the organisation team, and it wasn’t that bad. There was also this tall guy discussing with a smaller woman, with broad shoulders and a kind smile whenever they exchanged glances. It kept distracting him from parading around with Pepper, not that she really needed anyone. She was excelling at dazzling her audience.

At some point they ended up in the same circle of chatting people, then he learned the man was an intensive care veterinary who dealt with all kinds of animals, which might have explained the nice muscular frame tightly squeezed in a black three-piece suit. Tony approached him with another glass of wine, noticing how he didn’t have anything in his hands. How would those big hands feel on his ass, he wondered?

“Here, thought you’d need the drink after that horde of women.”

The man, was it Jim or James?, blinked down at him, then smiled as he took the glass. His friend from earlier was nowhere to be found. “Thank you. You’d think they never met any veterinary in their life before.”

“I doubt it has anything to do with your profession.”

To his delight, that strapping man blushed. He took a sip to hide it, but Tony saw it anyway.

“What’s your name again?”

“James Blake. You don’t need to tell me your name, your goatee gives it away.”

Tony chuckled. “I’ll take it as a compliment.”

James had a small smirk, looking at him through his lashes as he took another sip of his drink. “It is.”

At least he was straight to the point. Or less straight than appearances made him appear.

“Are you having a good time tonight?” James continued.

“So far so good. It’s for a good cause, rescuing animals is important. What about you?”

James’ eyes were glinting with something Tony was almost sure he recognized seeing on someone else.

“I was surprised to see you here, actually. I didn’t know Tony Stark cared so much for the animals.”

Tony’s mouth twitched, disbelieving, then he was smiling.

“Oh yeah, I do. Want me to show you how much?”

He hadn’t realized how close they were until someone cleared their throat. Tony gave the woman a grin, then took James’ arm. “If you’ll excuse us.”

The event was taking place in a hotel, it was easy to find a private bathroom, James following willingly despite his bulkiness. Once he closed the door, Tony leaned against it. James was staring at him, now a few respectful steps away and looking unsure. The man had been hitting on him a few minutes ago, and now he was acting shy? He couldn’t help it, he started to laugh.

“Can you just remove that thing on your face?” He asked once he calmed down.

The other huffed in annoyance. “You discovered my secret way more quickly than I thought.”

Tony quirked an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “Because repeating your own words was as subtle as Thor in a restaurant.”

James brought a hand to his face, pulling on something until it gave way. His face shimmered, retracted like a piece of paper to reveal another face; Steve’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote Tony’s list. It’s a mess.
> 
> The Best Friends Benefit to Save Them All is a [real benefit](https://secure2.convio.net/bfas/site/SPageNavigator/NYC_benefit.html;jsessionid=00000000.app293a?NONCE_TOKEN=8BF71E67ACAF120F2ADC6EDA05259E7C&_ga=1.221798104.113342534.1490130895) happening in April, and [Best Friends](http://bestfriends.org/about-best-friends/locations) is a real organization with multiple locations as well as a sanctuary. Adopt, don’t shop.


	3. I imagined us

His Steve, with that strong jaw not even a nano mask could hide, and blue eyes soft and full of sorrow. He’d came all the way here and thought Tony would still be mad at him? Truth was, he should be, but he didn’t have the strength anymore for that. He didn’t want to fight anymore.

“Hi,” Steve cautiously said. Tony took a step forward, suddenly unsure himself, then rolled his eyes. This wasn’t helping anyone. He pulled the taller man in a hug, wrapped his arms around his waist and brought him closer. Steve barely hesitated before he leaned into him and returned the hug, pressing his face in his neck. He was very warm even through all the layers of clothing, and Tony tried not to cling to him, but it might’ve been a lost cause.

“You look good in a suit.” Tony blurted the first thing that came to his mind once they pulled back, already missing his warmth and the way he was carefully holding him. They were still in each other’s personal space, which Tony wasn’t about to give up so soon, and neither was Steve it seemed. He still looked as gorgeous as usual, but his dark circles were beginning to have dark circles, and his mouth was doing this downward thing when Tony knew he was worried.

“Thanks. I, uh—”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming, when we spoke a few days ago?”

Steve’s cheeks went rosy. “It’s something that came up before, with the others. How we could reach out to you without suspicion, and when we last spoke, you mentioned which event you were going to. It was the perfect opportunity.”

“Is Wanda with you?”

“Yes. She’s making sure no one causes us trouble.”

“Hasn’t it occurred to you I could call Ross right now to alert him of your presence?”

Steve looked at him, a bit hurt. “You wouldn’t do this. You helped me rescue everyone from the Raft.”

“No, I wouldn’t do that. I rarely follow what people tell me to do, let alone the government. I’m angry I was actually about to send you a surprise myself and you show up here instead. I’ll still send it, but, you know, it won’t be a surprise anymore. Now if only I could have the address, I’d send an owl to your place.”

Steve crowded Tony against the wall, his eyes bright. “Good thing I watched Harry Potter. What form of invitation would this owl send me?”

“A robotic letter? Or a very patriotic one? I don’t know, you’ll have to wait and see.” He sobered a bit, this time forcing himself to take a step on the side to put some distance between them. He barely could think when he was too close to Steve. “Now, not that I’m not happy you’re here, but why are you really here? Is something wrong, or do you need my help with something?”

Steve had a smile, his face looking younger.

“Did I say something funny?” Tony asked defensively. It wouldn’t be the first time he babbled something at the wrong time.

“What is funny is how you consider yourself selfish, yet you’re always trying to help the best way you can. I came because I wanted to make sure with my own eyes that you were okay. The way I left you back in Siberia, I should’ve made sure someone would come back for you.”

“FRIDAY made sure of that, I was never alone.” Tony blinked, then brought out his starkphone. “I made a list. Maybe that’ll help us solve whatever, you know, there is between us.”

Steve picked up the phone, began to read. “We don’t need to solve everything right away, Tony. What matters is the fact we want things to work between us.”

There was banging at the door. “Excuse me, are you done in there?”

“Uh-oh. We’ve been discovered. Put back your mask.”

Steve gave him back his phone and did so. His blue eyes became brown, his face morphed into the handsome stranger from before. At least the muscles stayed the same, which Tony was grateful for.

“Can I have a copy of that list?”

“Sure. You have a cellphone or something on you?”

“Yeah.” He had an Android, sleek and the newest technology, but not as good as SI technology. Tony quickly transferred the file, then gave it back to him. “Here.”

“Thanks.” They stared at each other, words burning on Tony’s tongue, but some more knocking on the door broke the moment.

“Mess up your hair,” Tony instructed while he was doing the same for his hair, then unbuttoning his shirt to make as if he’d put it back on quickly. Steve became red, but he pulled his shirt from his pants and mussed up his perfect hairstyle.

“Let’s go.” He unlocked the door and came face to face with a middle-aged man who made wide eyes at their state. Tony grinned at him on their way out, making sure it was his _I just got laid and it was fantastic_ smile. At least there wasn’t anybody else in the hall, and Tony was surprised when Steve started to scowl.

“Tony, I’m not sure it was a good idea. The news might come out that you were…”

“What, having fun in the bathroom with a stranger? It wouldn’t be the first time, don’t stress over it.”

He found himself brushing back Steve’s hair without realizing, his fingers gentle. Steve stared at him but didn’t say anything. Instead he buttoned his shirt back for him.

“When I imagined this, you were removing my clothes, not helping me back in them.”

Steve’s eyes looked into his, an interested glint in them. “You imagined us before?”

“Who wouldn’t?” The words left Tony’s mouth before he could prevent them. “You’re human perfection, my ass is great, we’d be a nice duo in bed.” Despite his speech, his palms were getting sweaty. He’d said too much already. “Anyway, I think it’d be best to return to the main event, don’t you think? Keep cover, all that stuff.”

Steve nodded, a flash of disappointment appearing on his face and disappearing just as quickly. To Tony’s surprise, he led him back with a warm hand against his back. They came back to a slow song playing and couples dancing. Tony wanted a drink.

“Would you like to dance?” The question was earnest, made Tony turn around to find himself almost chest to chest with Steve. He still hadn’t let go of him, not that Tony was complaining. He only wished not so many people were witnessing the new steps of their relationship. Because this was what it was about, right? He wasn’t just imagining this? A relationship, something Tony was usually really bad at.

“But you never danced.”

“Well, there’s a first for everything. Beside I learnt you’re great at it. So, dance with me?” He had too much hope on his face, and Tony wished it was his real face that had this expression right now.

He hesitated, then offered his hand with a flourish. Steve took it, warm and genuine. Having his arms around him made Tony feel safe. He forgot their problems and enjoyed this moment with Steve instead. Dancing with him felt more intimate than any dance he normally had with his other partners, maybe because of his involved feelings, and for once he didn’t want to run away from them.

Steve only stepped on his foot once, but he quickly got the hang of it, and soon they were moving to the music with ease, smiling at each other as if the existence of a civil war between them never occurred. Tony was having a weird time trying to find all the differences between Steve’s and this stranger’s faces, but this was a good disguise. Tony missed his plump bottom lip. Even his hair was dyed a natural brown color.  

“I imagined us,” Steve said slowly. “Before, and now.”

Tony met his eyes in disbelief. “Are you for real? I never thought you’d be interested in me. I mean, I’m not what you consider the emotionally stable genius inventor archetype.”

Steve shrugged, the way his massive shoulders stretched his suit tight almost making Tony whimper. “I’m not as perfect as you think I am either.”

“I’m aware. Hold on, have you read my diary again? Or did FRIDAY tell you all my secrets?”

“You told me yourself, that I was so perfect it wasn’t normal. My body might’ve turned in a weapon, but my mind is something else. I have PTSD, I barely sleep, and I don’t know how I would dwell without a war to fight in.”

Tony tightly squeezed his hand. “Having PTSD means you lived through difficult times and survived, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It took me a long time to realize that.”

“I guess so. I thought—“

“Ah Tony, there you are.” Pepper appeared beside them, looking at Steve with an indiscernible look. “I’m sorry for interrupting, but more people are waiting to discuss with Tony.”

“Right. I’m always needed elsewhere, aren’t I?” Tony stepped back, not that he wanted to, and let go of Steve’s hand.

“Of course.” Steve’s smile was utterly charming, about to charm Tony’s pants right off if he continued to look at him like that. “Tony, it was good to make up time with you.” He leaned towards him and kissed his cheek, and it was Steve’s lips touching his skin, not the illusion.

“Yeah, um, it was great to see you again… James.”

He turned around and walked off, Tony’s jaw slightly dropping at the sight of his muscular ass moulded in his fit pants. There was a god after all.

“How did he manage to get in here?” Pepper asked, and Tony blinked at her.

“You recognized him?”

“Tony,” Pepper said with a sigh. “I’d recognize that ass anywhere.”


	4. To fix the broken pieces

Tony didn’t see Steve for the rest of the benefit. He Steve must’ve slipped out with Wanda undetected at some point, which was a shame, but Tony understood. Steve had come to see him. It held more importance than was probably smart, but at this point Tony dared to hope. Like Steve had said, what first mattered was that they both wanted to fix the broken pieces.

He came back late that night, and it was only when he was getting ready for bed that he noticed a crumbled paper in the jacket of his suit. He unfolded it and stared at the drawing. It was of him in his workshop, DUM-E in the background, working on some holographic program that Steve probably didn’t fully understand, for there weren’t many details on it, but the focus of the drawing was on him. His expression, his hands raised as he worked in his wife beater and jeans, the lines of his shoulders and back relaxed. He looked beautiful. Steve had drawn him beautiful. Steve drew him when he came into his shop.

Tony dragged his finger along his miniature self, his chest warm and too small to contain what he felt. The next day, he brought it to his workshop and pinned it to the wall. Pepper saw it when she came in later, and she extorted the whole story from Tony.

“So you’re building him a suit?”

“It’s already built, yeah. I just need to send it.” He hadn’t just sent the list on Steve’s phone, he also put an undetectable application that connected the phone’s coordinates to Tony’s. “Do you think it’ll work?”

“It’s a temporary fix, but yes.”

“I know. My lawyers are still working on removing the arrest warrant on their head. Not the easiest thing, but I don’t pay the best lawyers out there for nothing.”

“You love him, don’t you?”

Tony sighed, stopped typing on his computer. “Am I this easy to read? At this point I’ll start wearing my Iron Man mask everywhere.”

“Don’t. You have a heart, Tony, and more people should see it. Now, should we send the suit?”

She appeared excited, her eyes lit with interest while Tony programmed the trajectory. He would send it in full form on automatic mode, as New-Yorkers were used to see him fly in and out of the Tower. Pepper and him went to the rooftop to launch it, and watched it fly away. The repulsors’ lights became smaller and smaller until they disappeared in the midst of the few stars the sky offered that night. The suit would take about twelve hours to reach its destination, and Tony could do nothing but wait. That waiting game he was getting very accustomed with.

“Want to finish watching Westworld?” He asked her afterwards. She smiled.

Pepper and him watched a few episodes, leaning against each other and eating chips. It was getting late, and at some point she fell asleep, her head on the plush couch’s arm and her feet tucked against his lap. He covered her with the throw he kept around for that purpose and lowered the TV’s volume. His pocket began vibrating, the one where he kept the old ass cellphone in, and he quietly left the couch to not disturb Pepper. He padded to the kitchen to answer, not bothered with turning on the light.

“Hi,” he greeted Steve.

“I read your list. You think I didn’t trust you enough to tell you about Bucky.” Well, Steve didn’t waste any time, that was for sure. Tony thought about saying something light-hearted, but Steve drew a breath, as if the words were difficult to come out. “It’s not true, Tony. I trust you with my life. My decision about the Accords doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

“You didn’t tell the team.”

“Because I was selfish. Signing the Accords meant I would have no chance of getting Bucky back. I knew that if I told the team, everyone would’ve understood. I knew you would. I’m so sorry, Tony.” His breathing was so heavy it was making static on the line, which was surprising because he could run for miles without breaking a sweat. “I know it doesn’t mean much at this point, but I’m sorry.”

Tony wanted to comfort him, but tendrils of anger were taking over already at the memories of how lost and hurt he’d felt that day, and he found himself muttering, “Just like you didn’t tell me about my parents. I’m aware some of my past decisions have been pretty shitty, but I thought you wouldn’t make the same sort of hot-headed decisions.” Steve made a choked noise, like he was chuckling with something stuck in his throat. Was he crying? “Don’t cry on me Cap. I don’t dwell well when someone is crying on me.”

“I’m not crying.” There was this telltale wetness to his voice.

“If it can make you feel better, I put a tracking app on your phone.”

Steve cleared his throat, sniffed. “I know,” he said after a moment, calmer.

“And you let me?”

“I did. I thought you already knew our location.”

“Well, I had my assumptions. T’Challa didn’t kill Barton in the end.”

Steve didn’t reply. Someone else was talking to him, too soft for Tony to catch up. Jealousy crept out on him. Steve was still surrounded by friends despite being the one breaking up the team, it was… Tony took a deep breath. He wasn’t alone either, he had Natasha, Vision, Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, Darcy and Jane when she deigned to emerge from her lab on the lower levels. It still wasn’t the same. There was no more Avengers.

“Was that Wanda?”

“Yes. Vision visits her from time to time. It’s sweet.”

At least one of them was happy in love, better be his creation. Tony realized Steve was still talking, telling about a prank Sam had pulled on him, taught by Scott, the rhythm of his voice soothing. Tony closed his eyes and listened to him, a heavy feeling settling in his chest. He showed interest with small noises, not feeling like talking himself.

Somehow Steve noticed him, and a heavy silence installed itself between the two. Tony’s throat felt tight, his mouth dry like sandpaper.

“Tony?” Steve’s worry somehow startled him from his lethargy, and he cleared his throat. He rose up from the high chair at the counter, his heart suddenly pumping faster.

“I did something.” He leaned against the wall and slid down until his butt touched the floor. He stayed there, staring at the ceiling. “Well, I built it, rather. That surprise I told you about? I sent it your way.”

“Tony, what did you send me?”

“It’s, um… Now I’m not sure it was such a good idea.”

“Boss, 30% heart rate elevation.” FRIDAY announced him. He pressed a hand where his arc reactor used to be, fingers digging into the flesh and the muscle instead.

“Shit,” he managed to say, out of breath.

“I heard that. Are you having a panic attack?” Steve knew him too well, which only worsened things.

He scoffed in annoyance, both at himself and at Steve. “It’s an anxiety attack, not a panic attack. I need to go.”

“Tony…” He shut off the flip phone and tossed it beside him. He controlled his breathing, using the same techniques his one-time-only therapist had taught him that sometimes worked. He focused on breathing in and out, and somewhere along the way, his heart calmed down.

Why was he so worried about this? Steve had put himself in danger to see him, he wanted things to be better, so why was had he stressed himself into an anxiety attack? He groaned and leaned his cheek against his knee, hugging his legs, and remained in the dark.

-

Tony didn’t remember when he went to sleep, exhausted after trying to keep his anxiety at bay. He woke up to FRIDAY alerting him of a suit requesting entry on the rooftop. Tony scrambled out of bed, accepting the request, and quickly put on a clean t-shirt. He looked himself in the mirror, quickly arranged his hair before giving up. He pulled off the disarray look, and it wasn’t like Steve had never seen him like that anyway… If it really was Steve.

He went barefoot to the rooftop, a zone he had made sure no one could see from afar or take pictures of. He wished he had a jacket when the brisk morning air made him shiver, or at least some coffee to warm himself, but forgot about it once he sighted the suit landing on the ground before him.

It was exactly like the Iron Man suit, red and gold, except the reactor wasn’t circular but star shaped, Tony’s discreet little wink.

He stared hard at the Iron Patriot. It was bigger than his or Rhodey’s, the angles less angular but curvier so it wouldn’t end up eight foot tall, but it was still impressive. He gulped, suddenly not so cold anymore. “I think I just discovered a new kink.”

The faceplate lifted up and revealed Steve’s face, tired and anxious. “I wasn’t expecting this.” He gestured, looked down at his arms. The suit was nothing more than an aluminium alloy protection for him, it didn’t provide him with more strength than he already had, which was weird to think about. Perhaps Tony could made some recalibrations, add boosters…

“What were you expecting?”

Steve tried to shrug, but it didn’t seem like much with his broad shoulders encased in metal. “My shield. Not… your suit.”

“It’s not mine, it’s a new design of Iron Patriot.”

Tony drew in a breath as Steve slowly closed the distance between them, his body tense. “Do you like it? I can still give you your shield back, I was planning on it anyway. I repaired and improved it, it’s as good as new.”

Steve put a metal-clad hand on his shoulder, smiling down at him. He usually was only an inch of two taller than him, but now he was almost a head taller.

“I love it. Thank you, Tony. For everything.” He didn’t mean it just for the suit and the shield, Tony knew. His face was soft, a light in his blue eyes Tony hadn’t seen since the days before the discussions about the Accords had started. He blinked and looked down at the suit. “It allowed me to come here undetected. It’s… more than I deserve.”

Tony’s throat constricted, at a loss for words. Steve’s eyes were intense, straining on his face. He stepped back, gestured at a pad hidden in the rooftop’s floor.

“Step on this and it’ll remove the suit.”

Steve headed there, following Tony’s advice without a second guess. Robots began to disassemble the pieces, putting them away in safety. Steve was only wearing one of his tight shirts with jeans underneath, so simple yet perfect. Want curled low in Tony’s stomach, but he ignored it and turned around to walk inside. He aimed for the bar before remembering there was no more alcohol there. A hand on his shoulder prevented him from doing that anyway, and before he knew what was happening, he was turned around and embraced by strong arms.

Tony grunted in surprise, not expecting Steve to cling to him so tightly, yet it didn’t stop him from returning the hug just as tightly, tucking his head against his shoulder. He smelled of the same musky cologne, and he was warm, so warm. Tony hadn’t realized how cold he was, now that he was pressed against a breathing furnace. Blond hair was going too long and brushed against his neck when Steve buried his face against Tony’s neck, not that the other minded. He carded his fingers in the soft strands and tightened his other arm around his waist.

His heart was pounding too loud in his chest, Steve could probably hear it. He wanted to say something, anything, to diffuse the seriousness of the situation, but the words wouldn’t leave his mouth. Instead he further relaxed into Steve’s embrace.

“Tony,” Steve said, lifting his head and turning towards him, blue eyes peering down at him… down at his lips. Without a doubt in mind, Tony met his mouth in a soft kiss, gentle and caring and so much like Steve. Too many emotions were carried in this simple brush of their lips, but it was time to stop running away from them. He chased Steve’s mouth when he meant to pull back, pressed himself more firmly against Steve’s muscular frame and kissed him until Steve let out a small moan, his hands firm on his hips.

This was the reason being separated hurt so much, he didn’t want to give up on the man he loved.

“Steve,” he breathed against him once they parted, only to stop at the look in Steve’s eyes.

“I was hoping I wasn’t dreaming you returning my feelings.” His face twisted with remorse and guilt, and he looked down. “I wanted to protect you by hiding the truth from you for as long as I could, and I still hurt you. If I had told you everything, none of this would’ve happened, the Avengers wouldn’t be separated.”

“Hey, hey.” Tony cradled Steve’s face in his hands, forcing him to look at him in the eyes. “We’ll fix this, okay? Together, we’ll figure it out. We’re good at that.”

“As a team?”

“As a team.”

Steve held his gaze for a long moment, and there it was. The guilt disappeared, replaced by hope. He smiled, pressed their forehead together. “Okay,” he said, softly.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought of my story, it's always a pleasure to discuss with other Stony fans!
> 
> I'm [Captain Amoruca](http://captain-amoruca.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr.


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